THE TALKING TRIPLET

Once upon a time there was a women that was about to have triplets. In her stomach the babies were talking to each other. The first baby says "I want to be a plumber, because there is so much water in here". The second baby says "I want to be an electrician because it is so dark in here". And the last baby says "I want to be a hunter, because if that damn snake comes back in here i'm going to cut it off".

WHO TO MARRY

There was a man who was seeing girlfriends, but did not know which one to marry. So he decided to give each one $2000 and see how each of them spent it.
The first one went out and got a total makeover with the money. She got new clothes, a new hairdo, and tells the man, “I spent the money to look pretty for you because I love you so much.”
The second one went out and bought new cell phone, a ipod, and a stereo and gave them to the man. She said, “I bought these gifts for you with the money because I love you so much.”
The third one takes the $2000 and invests it in the stock market, doubles her investment, returns the $2000 to the man and reinvests the rest. She says, “I am investing the rest of the money for our future because I love you so much.”
The man thought long and hard about how the women spent the money.
Finally, being the mere man he was, he decided to marry the one with the biggest breasts.

A KISS FOR A YARD

Walking up to a department store’s fabric counter, the pretty girl said, “I would like to buy this material for a new dress. How much does it cost?”
“Only one kiss per yard,” replied the male clerk with a smirk.
“That’s fine,” said the girl. “I’ll take ten yards.”
With expectation and anticipation written all over his face, the clerk quickly measured out the cloth, wrapped it up, and then teasingly held it out.
The girl snapped up the package, pointed to the old man standing beside her, and smiled, “Grandpa will pay the bill.”

LITTLE GIRL'S TRICK

One day a little girl came running into her house yelling, “Mommy, I got five dollars!”
The mother was curious, so she asked her child where she got the five dollars from.
The little girl replied, ”Tommy down the street gave me five dollars for doing cartwheel while he sat in the tree.
The mother told her daughter,“Don’t you know that Tommy is just trying to see your panties?”
”OOOOhhhh” said the little girl.
The next day the little girl came running into the house yelling, “Mommy, I got ten dollars. The mother asked, “Where did you get the ten dollars from?”
The little girl replied, “Tommy down the street gave me ten dollars for doing a cartwheel while he sat up in the tree and laughed.”
The mother replied, “Didn’t I tell you that he is…”
Before the mother could finish, the little girl said, ”Wait Mommy. I tricked him, I didn’t wear any panties today.”